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The refrigerator is switched off
Lights inside no more wink
It sickness has filled up the dustbin
Don’t even ask about the sink!
When I open it, it has an odor
Worse than that of a dead rat
Or as if insane smells
Met each other in a combat!
Everybody who comes to see it
Claims they’ll make it alright
At every moment so much
My dear refrigerator has to fight!
This heat is anyway so monstrous
The refrigerator must be
Feeling so helpless
To no one it can ever confess!
Suddenly it had to give up
On its social life
Inside it nothing would
Ever want to reside!
So lonely and alone it is
If somebody pays it a visit
It would be only to fill up the space
That’s pretty much so useless!

I was struggling
Lost and scared
Trembling to find
My way out
Through the crowd!
She was with me too
More hurt than I was!
I wanted to talk to him
Because if he’d be there
I’d feel stronger than
My then present self.
So unbelievable
That he called
That very moment it felt
As if a strong force
Exists to inspire me,
Motivate me
To be steady and cunning
I felt connection
And I felt care
I had tears for my state
But that call did enough
To comfort me, to be a stark
And I could handle it.

Screaming in silence
Shouting like a dumb
All ears left untouched
Words as if clutched!

Hoping that words would
Rearrange themselves to
Create perhaps anagrams
So actions won’t have be arms!

To be left alone
Isn’t that dreadful
At times better than
Coming forward as awful!

Words don’t come easy
They are trembling
With fear
Taking more time
Than usual to show up
Consequences predictable
But unwanted
Opening up might
End everything
Even the little something
That feels so true and real
Every moment is a
A fantasy in its own
Its going to end
But it never has to be now
And maybe it never has to never
Although that’s close
To impossible, the words know
And feelings are running away
To abide by the agreement
Is causing the fear
Because the result
Might be an end
That someday would anyway be
But words don’t want to
Be the result
They are okay with something
Instead of nothing.

The empty book
Pretended to be
So full of words
Which tried hard
To make sense
Who was feeling sorry
To have been stuck
In a complicated situation,
The one that of oneself
Thinks very complex,
Who thinks low of simple
Which is also the
Basis of thought that
The book tried to explain
That is “empty is shallow”
But the artist said
Empty is deep
And so is space
Only by the
Thought of emptiness
He created a whole new
Universe, never existing
Or existing somewhere;
In fiction sometimes.

Thinking of how
They write poetries
Manage to talk
Of flower and of trees..
They write endlessly
As if they are
Never short of inspiration
It appears at times as if
Melancholy to them
Seems much like fun!
They twist and turn
And play and shun the words
Do they even understand
Their own creations afterwards?
Either confusing the world
Or are they confused themselves?
Spotting double entendres
Is as if spotting elves!
To infinity they write
Must they be feeling love
When the world recites?
But while so involved
In oneself are they
Even fascinated by spotlights?

Day after day
The picture
Of self
Suffers a blur
Holding it back
Seems so
Dilemma after dilemma
It fades and fades
Under no unhealthy
Influence dependencies
Time after time
A part of self
Itself buries.
As if something
Is about to extinct
Or the whole of self
Even in the light
It feels so dark
To separate from
The world, it itself
Creates an unseen arc.
Coping should have
Never been the resort
Tears hate it
Bet after beat!

Seeking happiness
In independence
Fighting for it
Every moment
Looking up to
Dishonesty even
But it seems so
Worth it.
Risking relationships
Although they anyway
Don’t seem to care
Beyond a mere a
Pretended responsibility.
Day after day
They continue
To grow malice
Using all sorts
Of reasons as tokens.
Lately its been
Much more easy
To rise up
To despair
Making you feel
A victim among
The ones so close
To the heart.
You wish, pray
To runaway
Or pray for
Your own downfall
And a final collapse.
For peace.

What I hope they never feel
Throughout the little big
Journey we walk together
Is stuck in the feelings
That both of us are
Living, enjoying, respecting
While we unknowingly
Care first for the other
Before ourselves.
The acceptance and
Togetherness and the
Communication is more than
Just enough for me now
And till whenever possible.
Its strange and and even
I fail to understand when
I’m just okay to accept everything
As it is without any negotiations.
Even the good and the not so good parts.
There is no place for worse
There is hurt and many tears
But never that I have felt so
Pure at heart that I’d know
I’d be just okay whatsoever
At the end of the day
Only celebrating that what
Has already been lived.
Feeling the connection
Maybe even without communication.
All I want them to feel throughout
Is that they are free
Because that’s the best of them
I have been in love with
I’ll continue being that
As long as I can.
That perhaps not something I can stop
I don’t even have the control
If I do, I’m probably
Running away from being myself.
In the past months definitions
Have changed to an extent where
Insecurities, assurances
Hardly mean anything now.
Presence feels good
And will continue to feel good
But if at any point it has to
Stop I’ll be just glad
For having living the best
That I have had so far..
All I want and can afford
For them is their smile and comfort
Which means far more to me.
I’ll still live a wonderful life
With them or maybe with
Wonderful memories.
For now I hope they
Follow their heart
And work towards being that person
They see themselves to be.

It might be something
Really, really awesome
Everybody close to my heart
Is so fascinated by it!
I also want to try
I also want the taste
Of that euphoria that
They seem to be so much in love.
All this time I criticized
But never realized that
I could be the one who is wrong
Maybe I really was.
I cannot ask them to stop
But there is no compulsion
Why I should myself start
But I feel I need it in my cart!
They all say its unhealthy
Still getting back to it
Over and again
I also want the feeling they gain.
I won’t ask them to stop
Maybe I’ll start it myself
There’s definitely something
That I might be missing.
I want to be like them
They all are my favorite
They all are so awesome
For me to love they sum.
Because I can’t ask them to stop
I’m too vulnerable
And my words aren’t as effective
But like them at least I can live.
Then maybe I won’t have to
Ask all of them to stop
They won’t ask me to stop too
Together we’ll will live in the blue.


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